Eternity to Exile
to give comes naturally to a woman, after all.
A man tells me I have the single trait required to be a good mother: I know how to give until I am empty. And by this, he meant I am very good at breaking my soul into pieces for everyone I love. I will hurt myself in the process of protecting everyone around me and I am good and quiet at being taken for granted. Can you blame me? I come from a legacy of women who were raised to be useful rather than joyful. Once upon a time, even my grandmother was just a little girl. She loved flowers and had a laugh as free as a cascading waterfall. That was before she was made to carry the weight of a crumbling family on her back. How can I look at the skies with hope and think that I would not have to carry them too?
Every woman I have loved has been Atlas. Holding the heavens on her shoulders, giving and giving until she is devoured.
- Nikita Gill
Great floods and flames that swallow the earth, heavens that weep bitter acid and tides of plagues that sweep through creation. But before all that, the world ends when Eve puts her lips to an apple.
At the crunch of her bite, realities shattered. Realities without separation and realities of eternity and realities in Eden. The serpent tempted Eve and separation began when Eve’s curiosity met the weight of her unguarded offering. Eve’s sin was being deceived.
Adam was not deceived, and his fall was not one of temptation nor one of weakness. His lover did not weave her voice into his downfall like the serpent had hers.
There’s a reason why the first sin is called Adam’s sin.
Maybe, Eve was doing what she had always known to do, what women have always been told to do: to nourish, to offer, to give.
And Adam listened…not to the colossal voice and command of God, but to the venom poisoned voice of his lover and her silent offering. He was unmade, not by defiance but perhaps by devotion. Was Adam’s sin love?
A love that was enough to follow his woman into ruin, and drag the rest of humanity along with him? Because a Godly love wouldn’t eclipse obedience to the Lord.
Maybe her outstretched hand felt like home.
Maybe he could not imagine a paradise without her. Maybe Adam was unwilling to allow Eve to suffer God’s anger alone.
Maybe, in that instant, somehow, love outweighed eternity.
How tragic, then, that the first act of love between them was also their first act of destruction? How tragic that the same love that united them tore them from Eden?
For the serpent’s greatest triumph was not the fruit, nor the bite, but the love that unraveled God’s design.
The love that turned eternity into exile.
Maybe the gift of love was always intended to carry the weight of loss. Maybe, it was never meant to make one whole — love is a constant act of sacrifice and compromise, after all.
A constant act of breaking and giving away of oneself...As Jesus loved us and so in breaking bread gave us His flesh, then His blood, then His life.
And in Eden, before they knew pain, before they knew death, Adam and Eve learned this truth: that to love is to fall.
And so, the world ended—not in floods or flames, but in the quiet sound of a deceived bite, and in the loving bite of another.
Maybe, in the moment she offered Adam the apple, Eve wasn’t thinking of rebellion, but maybe of compassion. Maybe of love.
And out of love she gave.
To give comes naturally to a woman, after all.
Thank you for the invitation to read this post Naomi! As you said, there are so many ways to interrupt this story. And I question, how has this story/myth changed through the years, especially before the Council of Nicea. I loved the many angles and perspectives you viewed this story with. Exactly what myth invites us to do. To not just choose one way, blinders on and then plow through. No, its an invitation to meander, to wonder, to uncover deeper meanings and symbolism. You did just that! I love how Adam took a bite because of love! That is plainly and completely beautiful!
thank you for recommending me this read! i loved it. it's a good and tender exploration of the topic. i like that you focus on love and try to justify their actions, and you are not alone in this - the tradition of the Church stands with you. whilst some claim that Adam was fearful of His judgement and hence relayed the blame, that he wanted to become God consciously but then doubled down, others, for instance st Grigor Narekat'si in his Commentary on the Song of Songs, mention the same point as you do - that Adam's love for Eve was so great, he was unwilling to part with her. to quote:
'...but even Adam gave up Paradise and the light of glory for love of his wife and fell outside, not because he wanted to become God, but because it seemed to him too onerious to be separated from her love.' - The Blessing of Blessings, Prologue
'...Adam ate of the fruit in order not to be separated from his wife, and for love of her, not in order to become god - as the woman had eaten.' - ibid
i also like the interrogation of Adam that's happening here. and the double standard he might be a subject of - failing to defend her and intercede for her. maybe because he was scared. maybe because he already knew all his attempts will be futile. i still wonder, how did Eve forgive him after this - she definitely heard his accusations and, to some extent, his treachery.
anyways, to end this - keep up the good work!